Stay with me for a sec, ’cause I know you’ve been here before.

Date night is approaching and it’s been awhile, so you’re really looking forward to it.

Especially because you’re doing something that you’re excited about, and you’re even talking about date night, before date night.

And then date night happens. And it was boring, flat, unexciting. Or worse, you had an argument, and that was the end of the ‘date’ portion of the night.

So now you’re even more frustrated – because date night was supposed to be the thing that sparked something different, that somehow would fix things.

Except now date night isn’t that much different than any other night – routine, redundant and not exempt from arguments.

If this is happening to you, {name}, it’s not your I-know-what-to-expect everyday life that’s the problem. It’s something much deeper than that.

Let me break it down.

RELATIONSHIPS ARE REGULAR. THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY ARE.

But we’ve been told to expect them to be something else.

A high you never come down from. A happiness that doesn’t end. A closeness that somehow keeps getting closer.

Forever.

And even for couples that feel that way a lot of the time, there is a regularity to relationships that happens over time, especially if you choose to take on other responsibilities like kids, caring for an aging parent, starting a business together. 

IT’S YOUR EXPECTATIONS THAT ARE THE REAL PROBLEM – Check in!

What is it that you’re expecting your relationship to be? What do you want that you don’t have? What else do you need? 

Is that within reality? Is that available given your current situation/resources/time/reality?

What feelings is not having your expectations met cause? Anger? Frustration? Sadness? Hopelessness? Shame? Blame?

How are THOSE feelings showing up in your behaviors?

THE REAL SOURCE OF PAIN IN ROUTINE & REDUNDANCY COMES FROM FEELING LIKE YOU’RE STUCK IN A CYCLE WHERE EACH DAY BLENDS INTO THE NEXT, WITHOUT THE REAL CONNECTION THAT YOU’RE CRAVING.

THE REDUNDANCY IS JUST AMPLIFYING THE UNMET EXPECTATIONS, AND THE EMOTIONAL VOID THAT YOU’RE ALREADY FEELING.

Relationships and connections are built on the everyday moments—the shared dinners, the morning routines, the conversations on the couch.

When date night doesn’t go as planned and casual conversations end up in arguments more often than feels right, it’s not the routine that’s the problem.

In RENAISSANCE, my 6-month culturally-focused coaching experience for couples, we take a good amount of time to dig into your expectations – about everything in your life & in your relationship.

We get clear on the things that truly matter to you, and how we can infuse your day-to-day with meaning and connection, even in the most routine moments.